Saba Beats Cancer

So it's been one week since I finally got out of the hospital - and tomorrow will mark the first time since March 1st that I will go 8 days without a bag of chemo hanging from my arm.  Jeez. Still doing all my detox stuff so that I can get even healthier. Imagine waking up knowing that you will feel better than you have in 5 months. Every day for the next week or so. It is pure heaven. And we went to coffee shop number 3 this morning. It was a little far so just drove over there, walked the pups and sat outside and sipped my coffee and had a great egg taco.  Absolutely grand. The hair is coming in like an 11 year old going through puberty. All peach fuzz on my face and head. And it is pure white - I mean no color whatsoever.  So the first round of hair should be interesting.  Don't care as long as it is growing which means there are less toxins in my body. We did add wheat grass to the mix because there are indications it helps with detox and a couple of ladies...

For the first time in forever, I have not doctor's appointments on my online MD Anderson schedule.  This is a HUGE first and feels pretty damn good. BUT I still had to go to the hospital to get my dressing changed on my PICC Line.  Lee is trained to do this but we ran out of the supplies to get it done and need a new prescription for it.  So I drove down there like a normal guy and got it done. If you missed my classic rock concert on I-10 on the way home, you really did miss something.  How cool is it to be driving around like a normal guy.  Albeit with tubes coming out of his arms, a little off on the stomach and dry eyes - but pretty damn normal. Still waiting on what to do about the kidneys. But we can wait.  And live a normal life.  Yay. These type of days are numbered - have to get back to work soon. So we made the decision that we need to take advantage of it while we can. We are hitting one of the many of the coffee shops in the area each...

Chemo #5 - this is the earliest they started the chemo! Yay!  And I am so thankful for Navy training - they kept coming and and changing the bags all night. I would mumble my name and birth date, hold up my wrist band for scanning and go right back to sleep. So not that bad at all. Feeling good today. As you all know there is nothing better for me than feeding my ego - when the doc says you are handling it like a champ - I can take that positive vibe and keep it rolling. So I got up feeling good and went about the business of beating chemo as usual. And now I actually have a lot of work to do which is going to make the time go by.  So all in all - a good start to chemo #5!!  That light at the end of the tunnel is really starting to come into focus.

So that's what the doctor said when I asked about maybe cutting short that last methotrexate. The answer - they thought I would have had to delay by now with this much chemo. That what I am doing must be working because I am staying on track.  But no go on the shorting the MTX - gotta make damn sure the brain is safe and that is the toughest cancer to cure. So we need to get it out of there. But feeling pretty damn good that my daily routine is working.  I don't want to delay - I want this done in 27 days. I am checked in - have a pretty nice room layout - and ready to start chemo #5.  Once again chatted with others who are having a far worse time then me - so I will keep on rolling. This is the first time we went down and checked right in. Didn't get our dinner out before the check in - crazy.  So we have this one and two more chemos to go.  Yay!  Feeling good that we can get through it in style.

Another late breaking side effect was revealed during last appointment with our LPN - we were discussing the side effects and she asked if I had noticed my thigh muscles getting weak. Apparently that is another fun thing from the steroids in our chemo - it starts to weaken those muscles.  So we are adding some squats, step ups, lunges and leg raises to the daily mix to try and counter act that new fun one. I did notice on the walk today that those muscles are weaker.  Doing the tennis ball squeeze has definitely helped with grip strength. That was really getting weak as well.  Last day before chemo #5 - going in tomorrow afternoon for a late appointment with the doctor. That means a late admission and late chemo.  Luckily I am getting good at sleeping through that.  Mouth sores are gone finally - which is good. It definitely comes from the methotrexate chemo round (brain chemo) and I only have one of those left in theory.  Anxiety creeps in my bra...

We have a great next door neighbor.  We are both cancer survivors.  They say that you are a cancer survivor the day of your diagnosis because every day after that you have survived with cancer.  He is also a Veteran and has been going to the VA for his treatment. We just found out, on this Memorial Day weekend, that his cancer has rapidly spread and they do not give him long to live.  We have passed each other often over the last few months on the way to various treatments. We compare our side effects like the warriors we are. We have helped each other.  I bring his garbage cans in and out and if I see he has not picked up his newspapers I bring them to his door so he doesn't have to walk far. I am deeply saddened to learn his cancer spread and I can tell you it knocks you in the gut when you have cancer. His cancer was too aggressive. The VA operated and took it out of his back and he had a horrible time in recovery. And even before he could heal it was b...

So now that I have stopped obsessing about the chemo and kept my focus on life and living, I am certainly a lot better off.  Man I was in a rough place. Just totally focused on the downside of chemo and had a hard time breaking out. It is what it is and I am just dealing with it and not worrying about it.  Back with a smile and the great attitude again. Feeling so much better.  The other thing I was doing was spending too much time looking on the web at things associated with the cancer I had. Not good - lots of bad things out there that could have happened that started to mess with the my head. Head back on straight. I am cured.  I am moving forward and smiling.  A little nausea but I don't care.  Resting and taking it in stride. Methotrexate is leaving my system and should be gone by Tuesday morning like always. Had my mom and sister here for the weekend which was a huge boost to the morale and focus on the right things.  And some great relie...

Checked in with our care team prior to tomorrow to make sure I had the complete plan. They never really covered the plan with us - it just got kind of assumed.  And the plan remains the plan - no changes. 2 more chemos 2 more brain chemos One  my friends said he guesses it like an antibiotic. Doesn't matter when you feel better, you take the whole thing to make sure you kill it all.  So 20 more days in the hospital. That's the tough part - certainly better than what I was looking at from the beginning. I am a little more tired today and the mouth is really dry (pre-sore type stuff). So doing all my daily stuff to rally out of this before brain chemo on Friday.  Still eating and doing everything else - including walking the pups and did a lot for work today. Always a good feeling. Time for a nap.

After I got home yesterday I realized it was the first time that someone on our care team at the hospital talked about post - chemo life.  She said only two more -then about 21 days after that chemo you will think you will be feeling great.  But by August/September, you will remember what feeling great was really all about. Didn't dawn on me until later that we are finally talking about a post-chemo world. It just seems all we do is focus on now and the latest side effects I have to battle that we forgot that the post-chemo world is finally coming. It is still 39 days away from the final day of chemo. But getting there. Yesterday was definitely different. After feeling so good on Monday I guess I was kind of shocked to get slowed down a little, have trouble with fatigue and a constipation. But today back on track and feeling solid. So we move on. We visualize August and September feeling great and try not to focus on the next chemo run. 

Nothing new.  Just good blood work. On track with kidney and liver and zarxio is helping the counts. So another boring appointment.  It really gets somewhat old. We show up at 12:30 to get the blood drawn.  Then they have to process it, I get vitals taken and then we wait to see the LPN. If I see the doc, it's $70 a visit, if I see the LPN it's covered which is nice. Every other appt is the doc. So we wait 2 hours and then get blood results to say everything is on track. No new issues, listen to my lungs and we are out the door. We leave the house at 11:45 and get home at 4:30 today.  Just for nothing new.  Whew. Just a little annoying. Still doing well and feeling good - perhaps just a little more annoyed and tired today.  But that's to be expected. On to tomorrow -

Great list - have people asked me about this and want to make sure you know what to look for. MD Anderson put this list of 10 signs you have cancer . I caught mine early - and we acted incredibly fast. Otherwise I am not in remission and I may not make it. It's that bad.  So please don't ignore the symptoms. And stay in shape so you can be ready to fight. I see so much that is horrible here - I am surely the 1% with how fast my body reacted and how we are taking the cancer treatment. I don't want any of you to have to go through any of this. Cancer symptoms Mass/lump : If you see or feel a new lump or mass that’s been there for a few weeks or is growing, get it checked out. Many lumps are not cancer and your doctor may be able to tell you right away. Sometimes,  more  testing  is needed. Maybe an ultrasound, CT scan or MRI. Unexplained weight loss : Most adults do not lose weight without effort, so if you are losing weight without going on a diet or e...

Getting scans today. Got the MRI yesterday. Blood work this morning. PET scan this PM - will post when I get them. Best case - really knocked the cancer out - worst case which I hear every day is it popped up somewhere else. So think good thoughts all my amazing supporter - I will post immediately after.

Got some big time goals for today as you can see from the nurse communication board - Basically walk without falling and manage constipation.  Such lofty targets.  Got my bran cereal, prune juice, drinking water and walking - plus the laxative. So I think we got this today.  Feeling good again -got a little more sleep but still not enough. Will sneak another nap in some time between the busy day.  Got a nice puzzle, music, and will work on listing the beach house on VRBO today which will be fun to figure out. Yesterday afternoon after my walk, me and the fucker went outside to enjoy a bit of sunshine.  Just stood there face up to the sun and a women driving by the entrance stops and rolls down the window and yells "looks like your enjoying the sun" - I say yes it feels awesome - she yells back "get that vitamin D, they don't stress that enough in there."  Random strangers yelling encouragement - one of the many ways we love Texas.

Ster - not Hem - the steroids started last night with the first round of chemo - the Rituxan.  For some weird reason the Rituxan makes me feel like I have had 16 shots of espresso.  So I basically sit there for 2 hours bouncing my legs up and down until the ride is over.  They think it will get better as I get used to it. Since the Rituxan is a part of both the big and little chemo battles, I hope so. Dr. Lee calls it the Rituxan roller coaster - you sometimes don't know how it will affect you. But it does give you the shakes. Remember the first shakes I got were the kind of massive feeling cold shakes. But now -just the hyper crawl out of your skin kind.  Progress! And the body will adapt. Dr. Lee is pretty funny - he says there are some variations to the batches too - like a gumbo - it's never quite the same. The hospital if full again. I guess my cancer is bad enough I get to the top of the list to stay on track with timing.  So you get your blood work, g...

So I registered a 0.15 this morning when I need to be 0.10 MTX in my system to go home.  So they won't cut me loose quite yet. One last round of pumping stuff into me and a blood test after lunch to hopefully show that I am at or below 0.10 and I can go home. Really need to get out of here. A little nausea today so we got the shot for that. A little worn out. But we also need to get the spinal before we go since that is due today. So many drugs so little time.  So they are working that into the schedule. So I am not getting out of here early or anything but outta here is definitely a plus. That way we can stay on track for a return on Friday for Round #3 R-EPOCH.  I figure there are actually 11 total rounds - 6 R-EPOCH and 5 MTX - total 11 (keeps the Spinal Tap theme as well).  So we are 2 down 9 to go. Most of the rest of the hair on my head stayed on the pillow this morning. So the baldness is almost complete at least on my head.  Feels odd - not too c...

Not easy to clock 1.5 miles walking the hallways but I don't want blood thinners and I want the MTX out so I can get outta here.  So we walk.  I am at a score of 1.5 MTX in my system after 24 hours which is good but not 0.1 - that's what I need to leave.  No one will estimate the timing because everyone is so different and they don't want to disappoint you.  So drink a lot, walk, pee - repeat.  They also pump an anti MTX drug and some potassium because I was low.  I ordered a banana with breakfast but they were out of bananas but they have plenty of pills. More irony. In many ways we didn't have much time to dwell on the fact I have a very bad cancer. We had to move fast and knew we had to stay positive to kick it and we know we are good at that.  But every once in a while it really hits you with the gravity of the situation and losing the hair and sitting in line at the barber shop was one of those times when you just get overcome with the emotion o...

Cancer Songs (to the tune of Yesterday) Suddenly, all my hair is falling off of me, With the weight loss I am half of me But I believe in my MD's Odd thing to hit me in the shower but it made me chuckle so what the heck.  So feeling good, had lunch went for my walk to get my 2 miles in drank some more water and feeling good.  Then the doc walked in.  Said that's all good but most the MTX side effects will hit in the next few days and it is a GI impacting drug which means "from you mouth to your anus".  I just don't like a symptom that uses mouth and anus in the same sentence.  But it is what it is.   Then facebook feeds me an ad for a military shirt that says - "Embrace the Suck".  How does facebook know this?  That at this moment in time I just need to embrace the suck.   Of course I bought the shirt on Amazon.  The hair loss has moved to my chest - and that is no small tuft of hair.  So that ...

So after thinking deadly blood clots and myeloma just two days ago - we get the call back from the doctor's office just now and based on the biopsy and scans it is cancer and it is Lymphoma.  YAY - only people in world high fiving each other of lymphoma but so much better odds than myeloma. We won't know the stage until Friday when I go in. And for those freaking out about the MD Anderson appointment - I AM STILL GOING TO MD ANDERSON - I just wanted to be able to bring the full results with me I just needed to postpone the appointment. So we have an appointment on Friday at 10:00 with Methodist oncology to get their take on everything. We have the MD Anderson appt set for Tuesday at 9:00 AM.  Both will have all the biopsies and scans to make a great decision on treatment!! We are on the move forward people!!!! So psyched. Still eating healthy, had a great walk this morning, soooooooo good to actually sleep last night. On a side note about hospitals - when they asked ...

My doc told me about the seminal vesicle (insert bad joke here) - but apparently this last piece of the MRI never got posted. And I can tell you the right iliac crest is killin me today.  (true fact though I had to google half this crap again).  My orginial doc does not believe the large lumpkin is a lymph because it creepily soft and floating which is not the way a lymph will be.  Hope the get it out and biopsy soooooooon. EXAMINATION: MRI PELVIS W WO CONTRAST CLINICAL HISTORY: R22.40 Localized swelling mass and lump unspecified lower limb, To evaluate soft tissue mass TECHNIQUE: Multiplanar multisequence MR images of the pelvis were obtained pre- and post intravenous administration of Gadolinium. COMPARISON: No prior  IMPRESSION: 1. Extensive osseous metastatic disease of the pelvis, sacrum and proximal femurs is noted. There is a large lesion in the anterior right iliac crest with large soft tissue component. 2. Enlarged inguinal lymph nodes the larg...

Slept well. Weight is down to 187 from 194 after Christmas when I ate enough sugar to feed a ton of tumors.  Took 400 mg of Ibuprofen because that really helps with some of the pain - mostly in the hips where it all began I guess.  Slept very well again.  I guess knowing what the hell is going on is much more peaceful than not knowing. Woke up a little hyper because.  I am very weird that way - I love a challenge and there can be no bigger challenge than staying alive, staying alive - ah, ah, ah, ah - staying aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive.  (now you have that song in your head).  So I am pumped - we are going all anti cancer diet today. Walked the pups two miles and had some already peeled Texas pink grapefruit. I don't get spoiled much but my wife peels the grapefruit and it is awesome. There is a lot of pain in the right hip but tolerable.  We go to the new HEB in the Heights which is awesome! Halfway through the store I get that weird double vision thin...